September Blog Post
Topic: Ideas on parenting whilst pregnant compared to when bubs is earth side.
Pregnant Mother VS Postpartum Parent
Advice you wish you had pre-baby, and your guide to Postpartum Parenting
(yes, this advice is still relevant for all of you parents 1 year in. We got you!)
You’re sitting there, belly large, out of breath, full of love & wonder. You can’t believe how time has gone so quickly, and you start to envision what you will be like, look like, and feel like as a new Parent.
The books all said to; breastfeed for at least 12 months, never co-sleep, don’t create dependency by cuddling too much, no TV or screen time, use this product, don’t use this product, avoid this but do this…
Feeling determined, you go over your lists, watch another YouTube video on ‘best parenting practices’, highlight the next few pages of your parenting book, and slowly your excitement starts to turn into anxiety and fear. All you want is to be the ‘best’ Mother to your new baby and give it the best possible start in life.
You’re sitting there nodding your head, aren’t you??
Well, you’re not alone, but you’re also going to realise how little the above preparation helped and rather how it made your postpartum experience more stressful than it ever needed to be. But I don’t want you to be afraid of that statement. I want you to breathe and keep reading because I am going to break down the ‘rules’ in a way that makes you feel EMPOWERED, CALM, & CAPABLE!
Always remember, “No matter the problem. Kindness, love, and just being there for your baby is ALWAYS the right answer” - Groovy Kids Co
Let’s break down the ‘rules’ to parenting and give you the advice I wish I had pre-baby!
- Breastfeeding could be one of the biggest controversial topics when it comes to your Motherhood journey. According to the 2010 Australian national infant feeding survey, which involved more than 28,700 children, found that by the time babies are 6 months old, 4 in 10 babies are receiving no breastmilk at all. Did this shock you?
- There are many factors to breastfeeding that get overlooked. These include; supply issues, latching problems, Mothers mental health, defeat & exhaustion. These are all REAL breastfeeding issues and are all issues that you shouldn’t be ashamed of.
- It’s okay to feel defeated, it’s okay to try alternative options, it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay if breastfeeding is not for you. You’re still an amazing Mother.
- You’re NOT, I repeat, NOT a bad Mother if you co-sleep, if you sleep train, if you don’t co-sleep, or if you do a combination of the above. Sleep is precious, sleep is needed, and sleep is what helps your babies grow.
- Now I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t follow the ‘safe sleep’ guidelines because they’re there to help you, guide you & ensure your little one’s safety - check out the safe sleep recommendations here. But, I am here to remind you to be kind to yourself. You’re learning, adjusting, and adapting to what is now your new ‘norm’.
- In the early weeks of Motherhood, you will be learning, familiarising and growing alongside your baby. You’re both experiencing a foreign world, one like nothing you have experienced before. Set routines are not expected or anticipated within the first few months of your babies life, but familiarity and consistency can be.
- Your days will consist of many of the same activities; feeding, changing, naps, playing, repeat. Some days will feel like clockwork. Other days something may disrupt or change the rhythm, but don’t fret! You will soon get back to the rhythm you both enjoy, and two starts to become one.
- If you’re the type of person, who needs ‘routine’, start by introducing simple rituals into your day, such as changing their nappy before, during or after their feed, washing them at a similar time each day, and reading to them before bed.
- Have you heard people say to you, “don’t cuddle them too much. They’ll get attached”, or “baby wearing is bad. It builds dependency on you for sleep.”
- Yep, we’ve all heard it. However, it’s important to remember your baby is adjusting to its new life, the cold air, the new smells, the loud sounds, the unfamiliarity. Your baby needs you, you’re familiar, you’re warm, your smell is their favourite scent, and your belly was home for the past 9 months.
- Can you imagine being taken out of your home, your familiar place, your comfort bubble and put into a new setting??? I want you to try and remember this when your little ones seem only to want you to begin with. It’s not because they’re dependant. It’s because you are their familiarity, you’re their comfort bubble, and they will build confidence with time.
Use this, don’t use this/avoid this & don’t do that etc.
- Finally, the most common sentences you will hear DAILY - “don’t use this, use what I used”, “I used this, and it’s the only thing that worked”, “that didn’t work for my baby, don’t even bother with it”.
- Do you want to know my favourite tip for dealing with these sorts of conversations and comments???
- Step 1: only take on-board the information YOU find useful
- Step 2: nod, smile, appreciate that they’re truly trying to be helpful (even if it isn’t)
- And step 3:
Motherhood is a journey. There is no right or wrong. You’re learning and growing just as much as your new bundle of joy is, and when all else fails, remember that all your baby truly needs is kindness, love, and you just being there.
Save this article to refer back to when transitioning from Pregnant Mama to Postpartum Parent.
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Until the next blog,
Groovy Kids Co xx